he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
