he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
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I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
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He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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