no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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