we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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