I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
