I hope mine doesn't look like that
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
