i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
