I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
