it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
