He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
