bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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