So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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