I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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