Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
