Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
