Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
