Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
