: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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