A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
