fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
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He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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