Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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