After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize