I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
