I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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