Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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