Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
