Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
