I wish I only lived at night.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
