is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
