i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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