I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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