I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
