I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize