if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
