This girl is more easily done than said...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
