I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
