I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize