A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
