this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
