yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
