Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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