He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
