i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
