do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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