Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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