Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
