Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
