There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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