doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
