I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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