He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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