Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
