It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The ass gains better be worth it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
