did you get engaged???
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Randomize
