Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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