Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
