she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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