Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
