sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
