That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
