therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
