it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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