Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
