okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
