Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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